An Open Letter to Danny Bonaduce

Dear Danny,

We, your fans from the Midwest -- the heartland -- love you. We have learned the sad news of your termination from that Seacrest-infested radio station in that fake, glitzy, Botox-infused hell-tropolis known as Los Angeles, and we hope you're looking at it as a good thing. Jamie White is a hoochie. (We know you'll miss that, but that's beside the point.) The chemistry you had with the crew back at The Loop far surpassed all of the Tofu-infused, CortiSlim-pushing, quasi-friendly bullshit you had to pass off in La-La-Wood. Hate is your muse, and you need her again. She needs you, too, Danny... and she's here, in the Midwest, where you belong.

We here at SW88 hereby welcome you back to your roots. You pick the day and the time -- we'll work around you, you're far more important than the sum of all of us -- and we'll show up and listen to whatever you have to say. You want to vent? Go for it! Feel like spinning some tunes? Hey, the equipment's all yours. (NOTE: You must supply your own DJ equipment.) We'll call it a SW88 reunuion, but you'll know it's really all for you, Danny. We'll get to see the friends we made lo those 17 summers ago, and catch up, and have drinks around a fire, and probably sing some... but you'll be home, surrounded by the warmth of the place that recognizes warmth... you know, what with the contrasting cold-as-shit weather we get here and all.

RSVP here directly, and we'll gather. We miss you, Danny, and we look forward to your triumphant return.

Sincerely,
The SW88 Family