Equal Time II

I read somewhere that parents often feel guilty whenever they begin to favor one of their children over another. So as not to appear as though I'm an unfit parent, here you go:

Poop II

Yesterday morning when Brett woke up we worked on reinforcing his daily routine of taking off his night-night diaper, going potty, and then putting on a pair of big boy underwear for the day. (If he makes it a whole week at night without tinkling in his diaper overnight, he won't have to wear one anymore -- that's a while off, I think.)

But when I sent him into the bathroom to go tinkle, he told me, "I don't have to tinkle."

"Do you have to poop?" I asked.

"No, I don't have to poop. I have to tinkle and poop."

Okay, Brett 1, Daddy 0.

So then he got the potty all prepped for pooping (he sits on a pirate-themed Dora the Explorer seat that sets inside the toilet seat), sat down, and (forgive the graphic description... although it's par for the course in this blog lately!) pushed his penis down so as not to spray the shower curtain and the rest of the bathroom.

He's got a cold (my fault), and has been having what is referred to in the clinical world as "loose stools" lately. Such was the case yesterday morning. In fact, as soon as he sat down, out it came with much fanfare. Brett's eyes got very large as he looked at me and said, "That was fast."

I smiled at him through my half-awake haze and said, "Yes, it was!"

He replied with the following, which I now blog here both for posterity and as an indication of how adorable my son is: "The tinkle and the poop were having a race, and the poop WON!"

Does this count as a dog costume? 

Equal Time

I guess I should be surprised it took so long for a canine equivalent to this, but here you go.

The Poop Story

Okay, well as I expected, not only does Lisa not still have the email, she doesn't even remember the story. Time to jog some memories....

We had Brett's Pack 'N Play (wouldn't it be cool if we'd gotten that at Pick 'N Save? No? Mmkay.) set up in the living room, next to the TV -- no doubt so I wouldn't miss anything on TV whilst changing diapers. One afternoon, I sensed it was time for a fresh diaper, so I plopped the boy down on his back, head toward the kitchen, feet toward the TV. Upon removing what I assumed was a soiled diaper, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it was not soiled at all, but that in fact my son simply must have had "a case of the toots." No matter; since I was half-done already, it would be a waste of energy not to just finish changing him.

I lifted my progeny's feet to the ceiling to pull out diaper A and replace it with diaper B.

There was then a sound the likes of which I had not heard before nor (thankfully) since. It was sort of like the sound you would make if someone had shoved some fruit in your mouth and some "chips" up your nose (a la Otto in A Fish Called Wanda) and then punched you in the stomach. Except it came from the stomachal area of the boy lying in front of me with his legs in the air. The next moment, a jet of poop shot out of Brett's behind, arcing across the room like a rainbow the end of which you'd never want to find, and splattered onto the TV and the front of our entertainment center. I couldn't conceive of the power that forced the stream that emanated from his rear end. I couldn't decide whether to be disgusted or proud.

I settled on mildly annoyed as I cleaned up.

As the deed was going down, of course, he had a wicked little smile on his face. A shit-eating grin, if you will.

Television Ruined My Life

[Incidentally, also the title of a Pat McCurdy song. Ah, Patty, I love ya'.]

Aimee, "Lost" rocks. Best show on TV last year. It has a lot to live up to this season, and I hope it doesn't choke under the pressure.

And I'll give a shout out to "Degrassi," too. I used to watch it on channel 36 in Milwaukee after school. Seeing the pictures of the characters really snapped it back into focus for me, although I have to admit I don't recall too many of the plot lines in much detail. I remember vague issues -- drugs, teen pregnancy, I-like-her-but-she-doesn't-like-me, Student Council Presidential campaigns... all probably done much more tastefully and realistically than "Saved by the Bell," which I'm proud to admit I watched not one minute of. Also, I have always just loved Canada. Seniors in high school go to places like Cancun for Spring Break. I drove up to Toronto with my two closest friends to see The Phantom of the Opera at the Pantages Theatre. Third row, TYVM. If it weren't for my job (which I love), we would've seriously considered packing up the kids and moving up there after this country's latest disaster.

I probably watch way too much TV. I like lots of stuff. Even reality shows. You ask me, do I think it's unoriginal and that it is leading to the dumbening of America? No, I say to you! The dumbening of America? See the "disaster" link above and tell me how much dumber we can get. It ain't TV that's the problem, people.

But I digress.

Some of the shows I watch, off the top of my head: "The Amazing Race," "Rescue Me," "Boston Legal" (that's some funny-ass shit -- way underrated in my book), "Alias," "24," "Monk" (it's like our generation's "Murder, She Wrote"), and "Arrested Development" (probably the funniest show on television). I miss "NYPD Blue" and "Six Feet Under," but they're likely being replaced by shows lke "Rescue Me," "Entourage," and "Weeds." I still watch "ER," "Survivor," "The Simpsons" (of course). I even still watch syndicated reruns of "The Simpsons," as well as "Seinfeld" and "The Office." I'm glad BBC America is around so I can get my Brit fixes every now and then. You can't go wrong with Python and "Blackadder." I've heard about "Footballer's Wives," but I've not seen it. "Desperate Housewives" is kind of fun, but I guess that's just not my favorite genre.

I am pissed that I forgot about Danny's show! Luckily, basic cable repeats things ad nauseum, so I'll catch it on the flip side here sooner or later. Thanks for the reminder, Lisa!

Aimee, it sounds to me like you have it figured out, though. Wait to hear what everyone likes and then wait for the DVD. Invariably, it will come out before the next season starts, so you'll be caught up, but at least you get to watch it on your own time. Problem is, you can't talk with people about what happened last night or listen to the radio unless you're willing to hear some spoilers (which I am not). TiVo is an even better option. I took one of our older computers and turned it into a homemade TiVo using Beyond TV software -- all the features with none of the subscription fees. That machine sits on the floor of the closet in Alexa's room and records anything we can't watch. It's a wonderful toy.

What else is good?

Stories

I was foolishly hoping that my Hotmail account from nearly four years ago was still active. From it, I once sent an email to Lisa about a particularly remarkable diaper-changing experience I had with Brett when he was a baby. I believe I wrote it the day after it happened.

Lisa, do you remember the story I'm talking about? Any chance you saved a copy of that bad boy (he wrote, full of foolish hope for the second time in as many days)?

Random thoughts...

I apologize if this post gets loopy... I am dogsitting for Charlie Brown, a sheltie I used to have on my old dogwalking route, and he is a bit high-maintenance the first couple of days when he's getting used to our schedule (or rather we try to get used to his). So I preface this post with the acknowledgment that I am running on about 4 hours sleep (all the parents, roll your eyes and have your chuckle). Bleah.

But anyway, I love the thread that's developing about funny breastfeeding stories... Andy, I'm waiting on you. It's so funny, having friends with kids, it seems so real now, and doable. Nate and I have been trying, as you guys probably know, or at least have been "open to life" as the Catholics say, and one of the things I look forward to is being able to bond with all of you on an even deeper level (yes, poop and pee conversations can be deep. I was a dog walker for three years!). I can't wait to get the feedback and support once we get pregnant.

Okay. I also wanted to pass on a couple of links I check religiously every day-- Pink Is The New Blog (www.trent.blogspot.com), which is the FUNNIEST celebrity gossip blog around (Aimee, it's better than US Weekly, I swear to God), and Go Fug Yourself (http://gofugyourself.typepad.com) which is scathingly funny commentary on celebrities and the fashion misfortunes that befall them. The Britney Spears section alone is a day's worth of pee-your-pants fuhhhhhnny!!!

I don't watch Lost, but I did want to give a shout-out to a couple of shows I am currently obsessed with: Entourage on HBO, and Footballers' Wives on BBC America. The first seasons of both shows are currently available on DVD, so check them out if you haven't seen them. Footballers' Wives actually is on its 4th season in England so I am waiting impatiently for my 2nd and 3rd season DVDs to arrive in the mail, but BBC America has just started showing season 2 on Sunday nights. It is one of the most trashy, action-packed soaps I have ever seen, and it's utterly addictive. As a Spice Girls fan, I couldn't resist checking out this show based on what it must be like to be one of the Beckhams!

Also-- Andy, did you catch the Breaking Bonaduce premiere this week? It was so intense, and just fascinating. I am so torn... I want his family to be happy but I also wouldn't mind if he and Gretchen split up... I know it's awful because he gets all fitness-obsessed and starts taking steroids and stuff, but I gotta say his whole badass yelling-at-the-camera-wearing-tight-t-shirts appealed to me. And I have missed that voice, I gotta tell you.

Okay, finally this was something I was mulling about as a kind of fun exercise... you know how there's Bennifer, Bennifer II, Brangelina, TomKat, Spederline, etc.? What would your celebrity couple name be?

Andy's is a no-brainer: AnDee.
Aimee's... Kevee? AiVin?
Mine is even trickier... Lithan? LisNat? Natsa?
Carolyn seems pretty straightforward: CarCar, or Car squared (Just like the Parises!)
See, this is fun!

Mommy humor (for you, Carolyn)

Carolyn - was just rereading your post about nursing, baby stuff, etc. and thought I'd give you my best nursing story (guys - you'll either find this deeping disturbing or hilarious!).

I was driving to Milwaukee to teach a class while I was still breastfeeding Tyler. I had a clogged duct (I warned you, guys!!) and started to massage myself to try to relieve it. Not really paying attention to the fact that I was in TRAFFIC, I looked to the car next to me and some guy was smiling huge at me and giving me a thumbs up for what he THOUGHT was me doing something entirely different!

So it's always nice to be the anonymous story at someone else's dinner table......

Andy, it's your turn with a gross baby story now...

Just had to put on some pix of the kids.....

ANyone Else Lost??

Does anyone else watch Lost?? The last 3 weeks of my life have been consumed with it and have been a major motivation for getting my kids to bed early! We just finished the season finale last night on DVD and are anxiously awaiting the season premier for this year!

It's not quite Degrassi (I used to love Tuesdays in the middle school "lecture room" where we watched, then discussed the shows with our guidance counselors!), but it still rocks!

Hi all! Wow - I neglect this blog for a week (OK Andy, I've neglected it for longer than that (thanks for the hinting emails!!), but I have checked it!!) and it's exploded! Welcome everyone! I love reading about your lives!

Here is an old picture I found of all of the counselors. Carolyn, is one of them Mr. Byerly? I honestly don't remember any of the names except for Shane (front row, long hair, funky socks & shoes) because I think he dressed up as a girl for something. ANyone else remember this? Anyone else know any other names from the pic?

Life here is pretty calm in a minute-by-minute hectic way (I'm sure Andy can relate!). Emma & Tyler are doing great & we just celebrated Emma's 3rd birthday party!! She was pretty thrilled with her Dora cake, as you can see above. I"m not sure when life for a 3 year old got so busy, but our fall looks like this: Monday is swimming, Tuesday is library, Wednesday and Friday are Playgroups. I know it's cliche, but they do grow up too fast. I miss my cuddly little babies, I miss nursing (yes, Carolyn, you'll be relieved when it's done, but boy did I cry!!!), I miss the late night cuddles (sometimes).

Everybody Wants Something

Here's a better picture of the school. One can only imagine Joey Jeremiah whizzing by on his skateboard, Wheels and Snake not far behind, ready to get into yet another wacky Zit Remedy adventure.

All you need is to believe...

Car, you are soooo friggin' cool!!! Where did you get the collage of Spike AND Liz????? Have you gotten any of the DVDs yet? The first 2 seasons of the original Degrassi are out and they are SPECTACULAR! I am so excited you also appreciate the importance of this pilgrimage. As you may recognize from this photo, we located Vincent Massey Public School, aka the setting for the original Degrassi Junior High. Honestly, Stephanie Kaye was always my favorite character, if only because she got to wear slutty clothes to school (and I had to wear a uniform), but oh, what a thrill to stand on those same front steps where she delivered her Class President campaign speech (and ended up trading votes for kisses). ALL THE WAY WITH STEPHANIE KAYE!

I had these shirts made. Neat, huh?

As you may have gathered, Nate and I went on a much-needed vacation to Toronto for a week after having finished the Oresteia. I wanted to give a shout-out to my fellow Roguers to thank them for making the whole damn thing possible. Go Rogue!

Nate got really excited when we came across this place because Elvis Costello played one of his first gigs here which Nate has the recording of. I thought the sign was cool. 

Chinatown in Toronto

I knew Andy would love this one!

Best seat in the house!

The stoned girls took this photo. We were seated dead center right up against the stage... for a musical where all of the characters end up in their underwear, it was almost like a hairy, sweaty 3-D movie. But in a good way.

Goodnight Mississauga!

That is what the guy playing Dr. Frank 'n' Furter actually said during the curtain call of the StageWest Dinner Theatre production of The Rocky Horror Show. Nate and I had never been to dinner theatre before. It was a goddamned BLAST! Of course we weren't stoned like the better-prepared girls at the table behind us, but we had a fabulous time just the same. How can you not, when there's a buffet?

Anyway, Mississauga wasn't where we were staying (that would be the unappetizing South Bend doppelganger Brampton) but it was the suburb just south of us... when I saw the marquee, I knew we had to go!

C'mon give us a try...

At Degrassi Junior High! Nate and I (as well as my entire family) LOVE the entire Degrassi canon: not only the original 1980s Degrassi Junior High series, but also Degrassi High and the "School's Out" graduation "special" (in which 2 characters get married, 2 characters get engaged and then break up after the discovery that one of them has gotten another girl pregnant, and one character not only has a drinking problem, but drives drunk, of course killing a little boy, but in true Degrassi fashion, also crippling a fellow classmate passenger and causing her to go blind. Congratulations, you are going to be tried as an adult. Happy graduation!). The new series is also great, but it is no longer being filmed at the Degrassi locations we were able to track down in Toronto.

We met a guy crossing the street who lives in this neighborhood and he told us this sign gets stolen all the time... so we decided to scrap our original plan and just had our pictures taken with it.

Aaaah! for Effort!!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen...

Welcome Chad Carlson! Thanks to an email Lisa sent via Reunion.com, Chad has officially found us! Chad, we can't tell you how excited we are to hear from you. This blog has sent you an invitation, and we hope you'll join us as a posting member of Science World '88 soon.

In case you missed his cleverly-hidden brief intro, here it is.

I know I speak for Lisa and Aimee when I say we can't wait to hear more details about your life over the past, oh, 17 years or so. =)